Feral
by bornunderabadsign
Summary: A witnessed horror has left Connor literally mute. Becker tormented with guilt over his neglect, discovers he may be the only one that can help Connor confront every demon in his fragile, bleeding heart.
1. Introduction

_Authors Note:__ I was just wondering why there were no new Becker/Connor stories… so I decided to write one myself. _

**-Becker's Point Of View-**

With care I slowly walked into the lab where I knew Connor was tinkering with another one of his gadgets. The clock on the wall ticked away and the fluorescent light bulbs hummed softly, I couldn't think too much, and I had to try and stop myself from feeling anything. It was the only way I knew how to survive facing Connor.

Connors back was to the door and he was working intently on something at the table, I leaned against the doorframe gently – trying not to make a sound that would alarm Connor to my presence.

Two months, two bloody months have gone by and there is still no word out of him – it frustrated me to no end but I didn't get mat at Connor for it, I couldn't get mad at Connor…not anymore.

It had been my fault; if I didn't listen to Connor, I had automatically assumed that I knew better than because of my military training. I then left Connor behind with no weapon and went off. Thus leaving Connor alone to witness the slaughter of 26 people by a pack of utahraptors – there was nothing Connor could do to stop it. In that moment he saw too much suffering and too much death that he, as the doctors describe it - shut down, and from that day on Connor hasn't said a word. They say it is just his mind and body's way of dealing with it.

Still, Connor has been normal in every other way, he just seems to have lost the ability or desire to speak – to be honest I use to get annoyed and bothered by Connors never ending ramblings and how he awkwardly stumbled around conversations with people he didn't know very well. At the thought of this, tension coiled in my gut and tears burned behind my eyes, I swear I would give anything just to hear Connor's voice again.

Abruptly Connors head shot up; turning around stridently he looked at me with quizzical alarm. Caught off guard and with emotion starting to well up in my throat I made a sudden move to leave quickly.

Connors held up his hand palm facing him then flipped it over and motioned for me to come more into the room. Without really even thinking about it I did as Connor asked. When he got to the work table Connor motioned for me to hold a bit of wire together, I complied and Connor used the soldering gun on it. When it was finished I gently let go of the wires and started backing up towards the door.

Connor noticed and he quickly jotted something down on a piece of paper and handed it to my and not meeting my eyes. I took it trying to mask the surprise on my face – as far as I knew Connor had never written anything to anyone.

_**Bring some work in here, and stay with me?**_

It was a question, and I didn't even have to think about it. "Give me a second Connor…I'll be right back."

As quickly and as efficiently as I could I gathered all of the supplies that he would need to keep hyself well occupied for the time being. When I returned I found that a table had been cleared off of Connors clutter and a chair had been pulled up.

"Thanks." I expressed earning a glace and a small smile from Connor, I found myself still looking at Connor after he had turned his back to me. Something strange captured my attention, it was the slope of Connors back…the indentation of his waist. As I let my eyes trail back up I noticed the placement of a small almost hidden scar on the back of this neck.

'_I wonder where he got that?'_ I absently thought, then an image came to me like a flash – it was fleeting – but still there, like a movie you saw just a second of and couldn't get out of your head.

I wondered what it would feel like to trace the length of that scar with my lips.

_To be continued…_


	2. Chapter 1

_Authors Note:__ Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, I'll try and make this good. Hope you enjoy this next chapter. _

**-Becker's Point Of View -**

Soon Connor and I fell into a comfortable silence both of us working independently and silently, completely focused on our tasks but somehow, at least on my end - I cant speak for Connor, drew comfort from the knowledge that the other was near.

I didn't examine that emotion too closely however and I soon found himself pushing aside an odd feeling of discomfort. Inside my head, fears and insecurities that I could never possibly admit out loud continued to swirl and fight with one another.

I sensed something was wrong about a fraction of a second before I even heard Connor start to struggle – setting the data pad down I found myself swiftly getting up and made my way over to where Connor was quickly examining the situation.

Connor had somehow got his hand stuck in the middle of some kind of large device that he had currently working on, and to my horror I saw that Connor was struggling – two sharply cut pieces of metal where digging into his skin in way that looked so painful I cringed.

"Stay still" I ordered, my voice was a bit too cutting – it visibly startled Connor and he jumped trying to pull away, only to cause more damage to his hand.

"Connor please stay still." I repeated with a little exasperation but calming my voice to make it sound more soothing. Automatically my hand wrapped around Connor wrist, the one trapped in the bowels of the machine.

The physically contact seemed to make Connor even more nervous and jumpy – it stung my heart seeing that I had this much of a bad effect on Connor.

"I can't help you get unstuck if you keep wriggling around." I explained, trying not to sound as if I were lecturing a young child, Connor struggled again and finally losing my patience I let out an auditable sigh and caught hold of Connors other wrist – physically preventing Connor from moving around.

Expecting a panicked struggle I was surprised when he stopped struggling all together, and taking advantage of this I quickly reached into the device and helped himmaneuver his hand out of there.

Keeping my grip on the other wrist I examined Connors injured hand carefully.

"Thank you." A barely audible voice whispered.

Somewhat absently I responded scoffing. "You're welcome, bloody hell, honestly Connor - how did you manage to get your hand stuck…" Realization hit me like a blow to the head with a sledgehammer. Quickly I looked up into Connor's anxious brown eyes.

"Connor did you just say something?" I asked stupidly yet incredulously, to be honest I wasn't sure if I'd just imagined it or Connor had really said something, slowly Connor shook his head, I did noticed he was having trouble meeting my eye however.

Without really giving it much thought I reached out my hand to Connor's cheek in a display of uncharacteristic affection towards me that almost hurt – when I placed it there Connor turned his head into my touch, his eyes closing. I felt the scratchy feeling of Connors five o'clock shadow against the palm of my hand and my heart beat picked up. Just as suddenly as Connor seemed to accept my touching him he pulled back shakily. My and Connor's gaze met, I could see fear reflected in Connor's wary brown eyes, and I didn't know what to do to lessen his nervousness around me.

"You should get that looked at in the infirmary." I suggested worried as Connor looked down at the cuts on his hand, nodding and again refusing to meet my eyes he turned around and left the room.

Only When I was sure Connor was far away enough I let out a irritated sigh, leaning against the table I put my head in my hands in frustration. Had Connor really just spoken or had it been I just been hallucinating? Wishful thinking maybe? Letting out another sigh I sat back down and picked up the data pad and did ym best to get back to work.

_To be Continued…_


	3. Chapter 2

_Authors Note:__ Thank you so much for reading and reviewing I really hope you enjoy this next chapter. _

**-Becker's Point Of View-**

Before I got ready to go home, I stopped the medic in the hallway to ask about Connors condition. After talking to her and asking way too may questions, I felt reassured enough that Connor was alright and well taken care of, I changed back into my civvies and made my way to the parking garage.

A half an hour later I was at home looking in my fridge for something to eat. To be honest I wasn't all that hungry, mostly I was having trouble figuring out why Connor had occupied top shelf in my mind for most of the day.

A light knock at the door diverted my attention; confused I looked up and shut the fridge door. He wasn't expecting anyone. With caution I made my way over to the door – the contact with the linoleum floor on my bare feet made me shiver. I opened the door cautiously to see Connor standing there, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot.

"Connor." I exclaimed. "What are you doing here?" I questioned – genuinely glad to see him but not at all sure why he was here, Connor looked even more uncomfortable if that was even possible, that was when I noticed he was holding a large paper bag with something that smelled deliciously like Chinese food, and the movies _Dangerous Minds_ and _Sleepers_ in his other hand.

'_Oi, I see.'_ I thought, figuring out the obvious.

I found myself searching out his eyes, trying to catch them, when I finally did I gave him a smile.

"Dinner and a movie…uh…movies?" I asked, he gave me a small and hesitant smile back and nodded. I pushed open the door behind me more - letting him walk by me. Connor had been too my flat on occasion so he knew his way around the kitchen. I helped him pull out plates and start unpacking the food.

"I'm happy you came over, so, Abby doesn't mind if I have you tonight?" I implored, Connor looked up and over at me nodding then gave a small shrug.

When both of us had food on our plates silently we made our way to my home entertainment center. I had seen both of the movies he was suggesting. It was worrying me a little about why he chose those types of movies. They were dark, scary, cerebral, and at many parts it made you feel extremely uncomfortable.

Connor settled on my couch giving me a smile, he made no move to pick what movie. _'Ok, guess this is on me, hope it isn't some kind of test.'_ I mentally giggled.

"Dangerous Minds it is then." I declared looking at Connor, he offered no objection, as I put the DVD in Connor and I sat on the couch next to one another eating our food silently enjoying the movie and one another's company for the second time today.

I wasn't sure when I had fallen asleep – or how, but when I woke up it was very late at night, possibly early morning. I was lying with my back against the arm on the couch and just as I was taking quick inventory of my body I noticed where Connor was. Snuggled against my chest, his lean arms wrapped around me like a blanket. Being careful to not move I took in a deep breath. Connor smelled like a forest somehow, oak trees, moist soil, green grass. When I took in the whole context, his smell, his proximity I had a feeling of intense well-being wash through me like a narcotic. Stress that I didn't even know I was holding in left my body in a rush leaving me calm and almost dizzy.

Shockingly I hesitated, I have had many sexual partners and I had never once been unsure of myself or my actions, unsure of where to place my hand in this case.

Trying not to breath to fast and keep my heart rate steady I gently placed my hand on Connors back, right on the tender and vulnerable spot up by the underarm and right on the back ribs. After resting it there for a while I absently started rubbing circles with my thumb.

On top of me Connor stirred and woke up. I was grateful he didn't cry out in fear and alarm at waking up in such a way, still he looked around confused for a moment until his eyes met mine. He looked at me and ran a hand across his face rubbing his eyes. Still not saying a word he let out a sigh and looked up at me.

I looked back down at him, I gave him my half smirk hoping it would comfort him, but it only lasted a second. Instantly it was like the very atmosphere had changed around us – between us. Connor and I starred at one another for a long time.

Without any warning Connor shifted ever so slightly upwards, the next sensation I was aware of was Connors lips pressed gently up against mine. The moments our lips met all coherent thoughts left my brain.

_To be continued…_


	4. Chapter 3

_Authors Note:__ Thank you so much for reading, I appreciate it. I hope you enjoy this next chapter. And thank you again for reading. _

**-Becker's Point Of View-**

I raised my hand up and ran the pad of my thumb across his cheekbone. Every fiber of my very core was telling me that this is wrong, so very wrong. But like with so many of a person's vices they are almost always never a good thing.

I moved my hand around and cupped the back of Connor's head to give me some control as the kiss deepened. I opened my mouth and Connors tongue hesitantly made its way in, he tasted extraordinary.

Connor shifted his body slightly to the side, causing me to have to shift as well if we were to remain kissing; he broke the kiss with the softest sigh of passion as he lay back horizontal on the couch. Without even pausing for a moments consideration I leaned forward pressing my weight down on him, slightly supporting myself with my elbows incase my weight was too much.

I captured his lips in mine again. _'God, the taste of him is practically addicting'_ I thought as the kiss got more passionate.

Connor whimpered and started grinding his hips against mine when suddenly my mind and body seemed to see a great big glaring red STOP SIGN. Before my brain could catch up with my actions I scrambled off Connor and all but threw myself as far away from him as I could get.

"No, we shouldn't be doing this…we can't be doing this, we work together… and there is Abby…this is wrong." I stammered not quite able to form complete sentences, I looked up and saw Connor face and immediately wished I wouldn't have moved at all.

Connor was looking directly into my eyes, his mouth slightly open, his eyes both narrowed as well as had tears in them, and also he was trembling violently.

Instinctively I moved forward and reached out to him. "Connor.." I started to say, however Connor moved faster than I could have thought possible, in a flash he was standing up running right past me. I only took two steps before he had grabbed his jacket and slammed the front door behind him as he left.

With my mind being a jumbled mass of thoughts and emotions I somehow made my way to my dining room table – sitting down in the seat I folded my arms on the cool table and dropped my head down into them, sobbing aloud.

_To Be Continued…. _


End file.
